“Why aren’t you being loud today? It’s so weird. You’re not like yourself.”
This awkward question-which, in many cases, should ask about the reason for loudness-comes out from my friends whenever I don’t speak anything even for a short period of time. So used to my loudness, they can’t bear the absence of chattering when my mouth is firmly closed. No matter how bad being talkative can be seen, Chatterbox is who I truly am. I am the only, the special “The Chatterbox” of this school.
To a 17-year-old boy, integrating into a society where there is nobody you know is a difficult task, and it gets even more difficult when all the other people in that society knew each other. The very first day of KMLA, the totally new place, was full of both curiosity and fear. 500 kilometers away from my home where I lived for 16 years, I was like a baby starting to know his surroundings. Everything, every person around me was so novel and intriguing. Just as it brought up the curiosity, so it produced a serious fear, the fear about things that were new. Unable to totally trust anyone, I can’t express my true self to even my roommates.
Not courageous, I did nothing but playing mobile games while taking the lectures of pre-education period. Day after day I was losing chances to get into KMLA society of 15th wave. It was highly expected that I just remained as quiet and shy student. However, chances came suddenly. A very small but loud girl came to the seat in front of mine to talk to the person sitting next to me, who was my roommate. The girl, whose name was Bori, introduced herself to me, about whom she knew nothing at all.
“Hi! What’s your name?”
“……”
“My name is Bori Lee. What about you?”
I couldn’t answer to her question at that moment because I didn’t know how to respond. She, I viewed, was very straightforward and truthful in expressing herself. Looking at her, I regained the very important value I lost in fear.
“Hi, Bori! I’m Chanjung. It’s really nice to meet you. I’m the roommate of Changhoon(the boy who sat next to me).”
The whole chattering I had with her shifted my life in KMLA as the Chatterbox who got rid of the veil of mind surrounding his true figure disclosed himself.It will keep going on....
Good to see you tinkering with this one. But I think I actually like the other one better. The image this creates of you early in the essay doesn't really match my impression of you (even if it was long ago and I know you've changed a bit). I think you are being a bit hard on yourself and/or laying on the "fear" stuff a bit thick. Everyone in your wave was "new" at the same time, but the way it reads is like you were a transfer student.
답글삭제I also think the original intro was better. This one has some added stuff that is just clutter. All in all, I think you can do much better than this one.